I think I remember thinking time

The time allotted to study should be divided into three parts. A third should be devoted to the Written Law, a third to the Oral Law: and the last third should be spent in reflection, deducing conclusions from premises, developing implications of statements, comparing dicta, studying the hermeneutical principles by which the Torah is interpreted, till one knows the essence of the principles, and how to deduce what is permitted and what is forbidden from what one has learned traditionally. (Mishneh Torah: from 'A Maimonides Reader, Twersky,. Isadore 1972)

One of the things that I am finding hardest about rabbinical school is the lack of time to think!, there is simply too great a volume of material to be plowed though to actually think, hard, about any of it. And this time for reflection and critical thought was one of the best things about graduate school (my MA) and being a research student.  Whereas for almost all the time i've been at rabbinical school there has been so much to do on so many fronts that the thinking about things, really doesn't get done. For large parts of the time I am literally on go and active from when I get up until i lie down at night and sleep and nothingness claim me again.  Somehow, all the bits seem to be being put together.  I guess I have my lower brain/unconscious to thank for that. But I really, and deeply miss the opportunities for reflection I used to have.  Thats why I found this quotation from the Rambam so meaningful. I also know from other sources how little time for study Maimonides actually had, having read his rather moving letter that outlined his typical day.
I think that I also feel the need for these times for reflection because of my personality type, which normally comes out as either an ISFJ or as an IiNTJ but in any case as some who is introverted.  I simply need time and space on my own to go over and process what I've learnt and the interactions I've had.
This is why I miss the PCCS classes we had last year, which although 'death Thursdays', as we foundly called them, were emotionally difficult. They did at least provide reflective space for at least some aspects of the course.

Now don't misunderstand I am interested in all my subjects. In fact I am intensely interested in some of them, but because of the sheer amount of stuff to read, to translate to try and understand I simply feel that I am not getting to grips with anything on its deeper levels.

But maybe I just have to accept that thats okay.

The above notwithstanding things are still going somewhere between good and okay (and I'll more than take that.)

Oh so very busy

I am very busy.  Partly this is because I need to get on top of a lot of work. I have seven essays this semester. That's right seven.  I don't think that I have had seven essays to write since I was in High School.
And although I have started working on them already its still going to be very hard to get all of this done.
We are also being worked very hard by our teachers in various subjects. Lots of translations, and readings and other work.
In addition to that there are all the other little things that fill up ones time; as well of course as the other things I have taken on on a voluntary bases (I really must be mad!).  The result is I am really tired nearly all the time. I wake up tired and then stay tired all day. Its kinda like being back in Israel only with out the fun, or being in Israel and with extra-snow in March. Just because.
Despite being run off my feet I am pretty happy...my pastoral placement is going smoothly and is really much better than it was before.  I also feel that somewhere and somehow I am continuing to grow into my (no-longer)-new-role as rabbi to be.
Any way I had better go and do some more work. And then go to sleep.

Purim and a very busy week

I am well but a little tired.  On Monday we had a delayed Purim at the college which was fun.  We studied purim 'talmud', and wore fancy-dress costumes.  Tuesday was a fairly normal but quite hard as Tuesdays tend to be because they fun so late and Wednesday was unremarkable as well.  So much so that I cannot remember anything about it really.  Other than that the morning service was led by Jeremy (who is one of our teachers) and he led it as a Sapardi (orthodox) service.  So that was interesting.  

Thursday we (Emily and I) started our Norwood placement which looks as though it is going to be both very well organised and interesting. So that was a bright note.  We then rushed back to the college for one of our sessions with Rabbi Indigo and the very tail end of student society meetings.  

Friday I headed off to Cambridge to view the Geniza fragments with Aiko.  It was fascinating and Aiko is really good fun.  

I then rushed, and rushed is correct term. Back to flat in time to pay our water bill before heading back out to an LJ Roots Friday night service lead be Emily and Benji.  It was really good they used a version of Mishkan T'fillah (which was a sight for sore eyes-although I can hardly believe that I am saying this). Although this did make me a little homesick for Jerusalem and Kol Haneshamah, not to mention all my HUC friends.  

This morning I went off to New North London Synagogue, which I always enjoy and don't get to go enough.  The only other thing that is happing is that we are trying to get our washing machine replaced.  I think that it should be okay but sooner would be better than latter.  

Academically things are still proceeding smoothly, I hope to work on more of my essays that are due in June next week. Even though I have lots of other things on as well :(

So all in all I am busy, very busy, and tired. But am doing well. 

A peaceful but productive

Today I wasn't feeling all that great so even though it was Purim I didn't go anywhere. I basically just stayed put and tidied my room which really really need it.  Its not perfect but its so much better than it was before I started.
I also worked on a sermon for Passover, its not perfect yet but I think that its going to be a good one. I also did a few odd jobs that need doing.
By the afternoon I was feeling rather better so I headed out to buy a wig and some groceries.  Its funny when the non-Jewish person in the shop wishes you Happy Purim when you buy a wig.
I then went and got the groceries before going and working in a coffee shop.  Sadly I doubled up on some groceries which Emily got.
I then had a skype chat with Mum and Dad.

Back Home but busy

I am briefly home in Newcastle-under-Lyme although this does not mean I am not working, I have brought a bunch of work to do with me.  I have been working very hard in order to try and clear some space but I am still very busy working on sermons, translations, keeping up to date with reading for class, trying to organise the rota for student services.  So much the same as normal really.  I am enjoying many of my courses.
Especially liturgy and Piyyutim classes.  But I am looking forward to the brake in classes we will get soon when there is a gap in classes for JCM I am not going this year so I will have a real break and a let up in pressure that will allow me to really get ahead with work.
As has been the case up until now academically things are going smoothly. More than smoothly really. I am also getting to grips with the more practical aspects of the course as well.
I should probably go and get on with readings, sermons and all the other things I have brought with me.

General stuff of life

The General stuff of life seems to have been taking up a lot of time lately.  The boiler in our flat broke, so no hot water and no heating.  It then of course decided to get really cold so that was fun.  Then part of our fence fell down. And finally the washing machine broke.
Washing machine man came and mended it, and then boiler man came.  The person who is going to mend the fence is going to come on Wednesday...but then boiler was working on overdrive, so had to be toned down a little and washing machine broke again!!!
But I now know how to get it restarted so thats okay.
It snowed yesterday so the walk to school was slippy it also meant that there were less people there than normal. I am busy and a little stressed, well thats normally really and I am already looking forward to gaps in the schedule when things will be a little easier.
However, academically things are still going smoothly so all in all things are okay.

Change in favorite subjects

When I started at my course at Rabbinical school I think that my favourite subjects within Jewish studies were, more or less in order: 1) Bible, 2) Talmud, 3) Chassidute and Kabbalah I know that there are many aspects of Chassidute that are not kabbalistic and aspects of Kabbalah and mysticism which are not connected with Chassidute but they are closely enough related that I feel happy grouping them together. 4) Halakhah, 5) Musar and finally 6) Mussar (a practice of ethical living.

Academically I was also interested in philosophy (although mainly focused on ethics and Jurisprudence). But I was almost totally uninterested in either liturgy and homiletics. But now just over halfway point I am probably most interested in Liturgy and Homiletics.  I am still interested in those other topics. But Liturgy and Homiletics are fast becoming passions for me. I guess there are two obvious reasons why this might be the case. Firstly they were starting from a low base of knowledge and secondly these are practical areas of concern for the trainee rabbi (and indeed the rabbi).  But also I have simply found that there is more too both these subjects than I at first thought.

Shabbat Shalom