A Time of Reflection

Covid-19 and Anniversaries

This time of year is always one of reflection for me because it is so filled with anniversaries. Some happy, and some (shall we say less so). On Wednesday the 1st of July it will be a full six years since my first big seizure (one change is that I can now spell seizure, this is a joke by the way so you're allowed to laugh).

But mainly the changes have all been physical. I tire so very easily and indeed I need to have a sleep mid-afternoon almost everyday and if for some reason I have to skip a day then I'm going to be very adversely effected the following day to the point where I will be unable to do anything. 

My memory is still shot to pieces, which also makes functioning very difficult. I write everything down and I mean everything but even so getting by is hard. Remember to do all the little (and not so little things I need to do) and then remembering what I've done. Both in an administive sense but also an autobiographical one. Lot's of things go, maybe most things things aren't fully intact until 2010, which is now getting to be a very long time ago. 

But I have now accepted that I'm not going back to the Old-Adam, but I probably said that last year it's a slow process. 

But the new-(ish) problems arising from my Seizure and Epilepsy et al combined with my old problems because of Neurofibromatosis  do make me anxious for my future.  

On a more positive note Friday (the 3rd) is the 3rd anniversary of getting Olive and she has brought a lot of happiness to Emily, Renee and my lives. Even if she can be rather demanding at times. 

But I have my own cat now, Panda who is not without his own demands.  Indeed I had to stop typing this to go prevent him peeing on the floor. Cats! 

But he's a lovely chap. 

There are some other anniversaries as well. But the big one is on Sunday July 5th. 5 years since ordination and of course 10 since starting this whole journey and of meeting Emily. 

In the outside world. Covid-19 is still sweeping the world and the UK and I've been in basically total self-isolation, I see Emily and Renee but even there I'm careful not to make physical contact. 

Mum has also been isolating but I've been Zooming with her every day for a chat and to study the weekly Torah reading.  Then of course there is my weekly Talmud Study with Tina.  As her girls were home from school I got to 'meet' them, they're lovely and they got to meet Panda. They were very taken with him. 

So even during Lock-down I've been far from lonely. If anything I've been more sociable than normal. 

Well that's brought us up to date

Emily's Birthday and other days

The year is moving though its marker points, as it always does, last week was Yom Hashoah and yesterday was Emily's birthday, although the celebrations are continuing today.  Yesterday after giving Emily her grifts and card we went and got a nice cake and some food for that evenings festivities.  Later  Josh D., came around and we went to Brent Cross before coming back to the flat.  Hannah and Haim came and we had cake, pizza and wine.  A very happy and fun evening :)
Latter today we are going to go out and have drinks as a further celebration.  At school things are still proceeding onwards.  Although I haven't finished off any further assignments I have come up/finalised my plan for my midrash essay (I am pretty happy with it).
I have also finished and sent off my research proposal for my rabbinic literature essay.  Title, Abstract and Bibliography...(I have sent off for a few further books to help with writing this essay.)  This really just leaves, the essays on Rambam and education to get under way.  So all in all I am happy with how school is progressing.
This years Limmud Chervatura Project is also starting to get off the ground.  This will be a lot of work but I am sure I will enjoy it as much this year as I did last.

Next week is Yom Hazikkeron and Yom Haatzmiut (the day of remembrance and Israel Independence day.) At this time I really miss being in Israel and it seems strange to think that it was two full years ago that I was marking these days in Israel.  The memory of the Yom Hashoah ceremony at HUC and then Yom Hazikkaron at the School in Rehavia are still very powerful.

Back here in London I think, finger crossed that spring may actually have come now. The birds are very actively building their nests and there is real warmth in the sunshine.

End of second

The Second year has ended. The last week was our summer programming (Kol Bo) which this year was about Israel. Interesting but very intense especially after such a long year. I would get home after each day and just collapse.
Yesterday there was a really nice service at college. The three five-years (who will be ordained on Sunday) led it and were presented with tallitot by Charles and Deborah. So now all I have to do are two things related to my practical rabbinics course. (very little indeed really). And then its just a question of waiting on results. Not that I am all that concerned all I want is pass, which is an unusual thing for me to say but a pass is a pass is a pass. And as our teacher Laura keeps telling us thats all that really matters none will care what we got in our second year midrash class for example. Tomorrow I am reading Torah and preaching at WCS and then that really is it for the second year.
I am trying not to think about the 3rd year to much, i have to pass the second year for one thing and secondly its really just to far away to be concerned with.
last Weekend I went to Chaggigah the British Reform Biennial which was great. Really enjoyable but so tiring and when added to exams and assessments which came before and Kol Bo that came after I'm shattered and am not feeling well. Although I am pretty sure that its nothing more than being overly tired and warn out.
Apart from that I am feeling okay, upbeat even. Time, shortly to take a few deep breaths and relax.

Back in the UK

Well I'm year in Israel is over, and I am back home in the UK. The ending was rather sad in the end as people started to leave one by one including Emily so I was all alone in the flat i was worried because there was plenty of cleaning to do so i didn't think that I would be lonely but then i got ill (had to go on a drip and every thing)...but got the flat nice and clean in the end and packed on got home okay. I am still working on one or two things arising out of my year in Israel. (see link) and am trying to sort out where Emily and I will rent next year, finish PhD and do admin so am very busy still but am really looking forward to family hoilday.

After the shabbaton

So I have been recovering from the Shabbaton, and have had a tough day at uni although I have had time to go to the Shuk which was good. Bought lost of food, and stuff and had a nice long walk. Learning Pi'el Lammed Hay verbs. Got lots of work to do. so had better get going and do something rather than sitting hear blogging.

parallel lives Shabbaton

Hey, I'm so tired have got back from a shabbaton to Benyamina, as part of Parrallel lives. Emily and I got up a little later than I would have liked because I spelt though my alram. So we headed off to the central bus station. Because of the Marathon there were no taxis becuase all the roads were closed. So we had to walk at a very brisk pace in the end we reached the station right at 8:30 after an hour of hard walking. This was the time we were ment to meet, but there were no else there so Emily and I caught the 8:50 number 480 and headed off to Tel Aviv train station. We got there and brought our tickets for the train to Binyamina...there were still no other people at the station so when we caught the train we tried to make contanct with other people.
In the end we got a phone comversation, to let us know that some other participants were making their way to the locations by Taxi. In they end we reached Binaymania and went to the house where the first event was going to take place. (An event led by Emily), and then we went to our hosting families for dinner. And then a shabbat evening service led by some of the soligers. The next day we had a number of events, some of them outside. (I got very badly sunburnt). After a long day with lots of socialising and some very interesting events four of us got a taxi back to Jlem, getting here rather late. I the next morning I wasn't well so didn't make it in for Hebrew although I did get there in time for Liturgy. Now have to get on with some work.

The year continues

I seem to be really really bad at up-dating this blog. Ah well better late than never I guess. Things are still much the same although after going really slowly at first this year has started to speed up, not sure if thats a good thing or a bad. I have settled into my second Semister nicely (I am enjoying Rabbinic Texts) its relatively striaght forward at the moment. Hebrew Modern is still progressing (i think it is getting better but ask me again tomorrow after my next mini-exam), Late Antiquity is really interesting and goes well with Rab. Texts...I am also really enjoying 'Jewish identity in Contemporary Israel' which is one of my elective course. It is very phiolosphical which really suits me.
I still think that one, if not the high-light of the year is Israel Seminar which is great and gives us access to a whole range of Israeli society that it would be very hard if not impossible for me to access on my own.
Bible is wonderful I think that Yossi is among the best and most interesting teachers I have every had.

Its not all work work work tho., a lot of it is. I do get sometime to socalise as well. Yesterday I went for Shabbat dinner at Joel's house (Joel is a friend from back home and a Masorti Rabbi).

It has also started raining here, which is great as we really really really needed the rain. I am busy working on my next drash (due on the 26th) and on my Traruma project(s) so there is plenty to keep me going. The next big thing that is coming up is the Southern Tiyal. I am quite excited for that as I haven't been to the south of Israel as yet and it looks really really beautiful. Well I had better go. Hebrew to learn and books to read.

News

Again I have left it ages without posting and a lot has happened and time is short. We had our Northern Tiyal up to the Galil to the Kenarit (Thats lake Tiberus to those not in the know). We went to Kiryat Shamona, and Tel Hei (both the momument and college). Right up to the boarder with Lebanon to a Moshav, and my group went way up into the Golan to very near the boarder with Syria. We also went on a 'night safari' where we saw owls, and Israeli swomp cats (and no thats not a joke), large birds and smallier birds.
We also got one, rather short chance to swim in the Keneret. Of course we went to Tel Dan and saw the archelogical reamains there, which I have to say are really very impressive also Tel is very beautiful. However it was so hot especial given where we were and how late in the year it is.
By the time I got back I was feeling pretty horried and flet rubbish on Friday but did all the useal Friday things but basically took things easy...on Saturaday I headed off to the Conservative Synagogue on Argon Street. I really enjoyed the service and the sermon it was great. Afterwar i went for lunch with a couple of other HUC stendents...We had Sunday off but by then I felt dreadful really really ill. So I headed off to the health centre, with the help of the amazing and wonderful Emily and they took one look at me and put me on a drip. So i felt much better but not great. I went in the next day but didn't go on our next Tiyal. At the moment I am getting ready for my service tomorrow.

TW3

Hey boy am I glad that this week is over, it was not a fun one. Started with getting my Hebrew exam result (On my birthday) and it was the worst mark I have ever recieved in any subject for any exam at any level ever! So that was a fabtastic start to the day. Then I had the its my birthday but I am miles away from home, thing going on. I am also finding October to be a stressful month, I knew that it was going to be, because of various things al happening at once but it doesn't help to know. We have also had two tiyilim this week: One was a walking trip around a distict of Jlem called Rahava, up near George the 5th street. And the next day as part of Biblical History to Tel Aviv to Tel Gerzer and a musem. So I am very tired indeed. I had a nice quite party for my birthday as befits a 32 year old but it was fun and a bright spot in an otherwise pretty horrid week. I am going to do some cleaning and Hebrew homework (now there is a surprise) before heading over to Laura's for shabbat. Hopefully next week will be a bit better. fingers crossed. BTW TW3=that was the week that was.

Started well.

Hey today started well but went down hill fast. :( woke up early enough to get a bit of extra study done and some work and then headed into school. On the way I met a friend who I knew worked for part of the year in JLem so that was nice, and the morning service at HUC was great it was led in a style i like and the drash was great...and I wasn't even that concerned about the exam i had coming up, I had revisied hard for it and new most if not all of the new vocabuary I need for it. Then I sat the exam, and let us say that I don't think it went well. Although I am hoping it wasn't quite as castrophic as i fear it may have been. It was the kind of exam where you want to get up in the middle and scroow your exam paper into a ball and though it into the bin on the way out, and then keep going to the air-port and then away from here to alomst anywhere. (I am not feeling quite that down right now but still very very grummpy.

Then I had a class on second temple history i dont think that i took all that much in because i was still a little hept up after exam. Then we had a Biblical History Tiylal to the Israel musem...which would have been good if I had not been so very very tired.
We had a Tiyal yesterday as well. As part of Israel Seminar to Tel Aviv, which was interesting. We went to the cemitary which I liked because i always enjoy them and Tel Aviv Old Cemitary is an especially good one. I also liked Bialik's house and the walking tour and it was so so nice to get to the beach even if only for a few minutes and to be able to dip ones toes into the sea. lovely.

Long time no posting

So sorry that I have left it such a long time with out posting anything. A whole month and a lot has happened. Most of it Hebrew work :)
My classes are going well, I am not sure that Modern Hebrew is going as well as it could be but there you go. My other classes are History of Zionism, Second temple History, Biblical History, Biblical Grammar, Bible and the Israel Seminar and I think that all of them are going okay. I as have two Teruma projects and so far I am enjoying both of them. We have also had the Yomim norim...the days of awe. I found these good but homesick making at the same time. However Yom Kippur is amazing in Jlem the streets are free from cars and full of people walking home after Kol Nidra. And of course childern on rollers and bikes.
Then before Succot the streets are full of people selling lulavim and etrogim...amazing!

Laura and I then went to England...I stayed with Mum and Dad and after one night Laura headed off to London...I went to the dentist (So yeah no tooth pain!) and went down to see Laura in London for Monday and little bit of Tuseday. We met up with two of my very best friends (Daisy and Mandy) and did some sightseeing, which is something that I wouldn't normally have done and it was nice to have the excuse so to do.
Then it was back home and off to synagogue of the evening of Simchas Torah...lots of dancing and singing. Before we fly back home to Israel...It was nice to be back in the UK and to get a chance to chatch up with at least some of my friends (I will have to met with more next time) and to speek with both my big sisters and to see my little Nephew and Rebecca. Am now back in the hussel and bussel of Jlem and the stuff of life (bills and buying household stuff) and work. But hey in a few hours its shobbos! I will try and post againg before too long but no promises.

firstday at school

Today was the first day of our propper school year. As its Wednesday we started with Israel seminar. This was just an introduction to the course and a group text study/reflection on our relationship with Israel. As well as looking at what we are going to be doing during the course. The assesment will be by two essays (ten pages each), not sure what that is in words I tend to think in words when it comes to essay lengths . But any way it wont be a problem...we also have to keep a journal and hand in a number of our reflections on the course, there are as well, as is to be expected required readings. Tomorrow we start Hebrew all over again and then next week there will be Bible and Bibical Hebrew.

Ulpan and HUC

So Hey I had my exam, and i am much improved not quite there yet but I am now on the main HUC Ulpan programe, which is great but I kinda miss Ulpan Or, and I really miss Reut my teacher there. Orintation was really intense at HUC but we have started the summer Ulpan and i am settling in okay, still not used to being anywhere so hot or working so hard so I am really tired nearly all the time. Its nice in the flat and most of the things i need to get sorted are getting there albeit slowly, but then i haven't been here long yet just over two weeks.
I really like almost everyone on the various programs here, and there is nobody i actaully dislike. Tomorrow we are having a mini-Jerusalem day as our ti'al (trip) and i am going on one that involves rock climbing, not that i have done that in a long time. But generally things are fun here.

Hebrew

So I am now in the middle of my Ulpan-Or (Hebrew at the speed of light) course, only the skype one I don't actually do the intensive one2one course until I am actually in Jerusalem. My GDL teacher is called Ruth, or maybe I should say ^morah shi korim reut.^ anyway she seems really nice and I am making progress but I am still not sure that i am going to be able to make enough progress in the time that i have. Everybody else seems more sure than I am. But I keep making my afformation statemate and we shall see what happens in the end. I still have lots of things to organise and lots of goodbyes to say.

Kartiss matoss (Plan tickets)

So I have now brought my plan tickets for the first part of my trip to Israel. So barring major (and I mean major) volvanic activity I should be in Jlem from the first week of July onwards. I am quite happy with price I got although as always it was higher and alot higher than the quoted price. But things are coming together. And I am trying not to think about the whole exam thing.

Into the present

One thing that I find odd is how peoples’ attitude towards me changed as soon as I had been accepted on the rabbinic course at LBC. Not only do I find it strange that some people started asking me for relationship advice; bearing in mind that I am a single grad-student who isn't going to start on the program in 2010, and they wouldn’t have asked beforehand. I sort of expected this from members of Movement but not really from people at synagogue, as I thought it would be hard for people who remember me as a naughty little boy to think of me as a potential rabbi.

But what I really did not expect was that this would apply to Orthodox friends as well because at least in theory don’t think of Reform Rabbis as rabbis at all.

I have also noticed that some people have started to defer to my opinions because ‘you’re going to be a rabbi’.

This speaks to a view of the rabbinate that I do not like. (While it is true that this is a near universal problem within Judaism) I think that it is especially true of progressive-Judaism and it is something that I think that we have to work against, as it is invidious to the health of our movement.

Also I don’t think that when I am a rabbi it will be my job to do peoples’ Judaism for them, the term I have been using and I know it has unpleasant connotations, is I want to ‘infect’ people with Judaism (well Jews really, I want to infect Jews with Judaism).

I am glad that I have this pause before going to LBC so I can think deeply about what I what the nature of what I want my Jewish leadership to be. I know that I could do that while actually on the course but this way when I start I can focus in on it and I can be, at least to some extent, rooted in my particular approach.

I think that I will just need to make two or three more post and then I will be up to date and then my postings will become less, I was going to say frequent, but I think that manic would be a better adjective. That is until I move to Israel for the start of my course then I will actually have something to write about.