A Time of Reflection

Covid-19 and Anniversaries

This time of year is always one of reflection for me because it is so filled with anniversaries. Some happy, and some (shall we say less so). On Wednesday the 1st of July it will be a full six years since my first big seizure (one change is that I can now spell seizure, this is a joke by the way so you're allowed to laugh).

But mainly the changes have all been physical. I tire so very easily and indeed I need to have a sleep mid-afternoon almost everyday and if for some reason I have to skip a day then I'm going to be very adversely effected the following day to the point where I will be unable to do anything. 

My memory is still shot to pieces, which also makes functioning very difficult. I write everything down and I mean everything but even so getting by is hard. Remember to do all the little (and not so little things I need to do) and then remembering what I've done. Both in an administive sense but also an autobiographical one. Lot's of things go, maybe most things things aren't fully intact until 2010, which is now getting to be a very long time ago. 

But I have now accepted that I'm not going back to the Old-Adam, but I probably said that last year it's a slow process. 

But the new-(ish) problems arising from my Seizure and Epilepsy et al combined with my old problems because of Neurofibromatosis  do make me anxious for my future.  

On a more positive note Friday (the 3rd) is the 3rd anniversary of getting Olive and she has brought a lot of happiness to Emily, Renee and my lives. Even if she can be rather demanding at times. 

But I have my own cat now, Panda who is not without his own demands.  Indeed I had to stop typing this to go prevent him peeing on the floor. Cats! 

But he's a lovely chap. 

There are some other anniversaries as well. But the big one is on Sunday July 5th. 5 years since ordination and of course 10 since starting this whole journey and of meeting Emily. 

In the outside world. Covid-19 is still sweeping the world and the UK and I've been in basically total self-isolation, I see Emily and Renee but even there I'm careful not to make physical contact. 

Mum has also been isolating but I've been Zooming with her every day for a chat and to study the weekly Torah reading.  Then of course there is my weekly Talmud Study with Tina.  As her girls were home from school I got to 'meet' them, they're lovely and they got to meet Panda. They were very taken with him. 

So even during Lock-down I've been far from lonely. If anything I've been more sociable than normal. 

Well that's brought us up to date

Lock Down Continues.

Because of Covid-19 I am still under lock down which has now been going on for quite some time. Weeks in fact. I have barely left the flat. And I mean barely. Once or twice to get some fresh air by sitting on the front drive and for a couple of late night walks when the chances of meeting anyone else were really small.

I have even been careful not to come into contact with Either Emily or Renee. But oddly I have, if anything, been more soicially active than normal. Albeit via Zoom. I talk with mum every day we study the Torah reading for that day. And at the weekend Mum, Rebecca, Aaron, Said, Solomon and I all Zoom together. Of course I have my once a week study with Tina, and now Francesca who. So I'm getting lots of Talmud and company with friends and family.  Studying with Tina from her home I've got to meet her little girls who are adorable and are really taken with Panda, well who wouldn't be!

I was searching for some piece of info in my emails and discovered that Thursday (it's now Saturday) was 10 years since my and Emily's very first email exchange.

Panda is still delighted to have so much of me. 24/7 so he's a very happy cat. On Tuesday I had a long conversation (think 2.5 hours) with someone I might being set up with. It felt really natural so I'm hopeful it might lead somewhere.

Well that's brought things up to date. Not much has happened but given the circumstances not much can.

Taste of Limmud.

This is a link to my taste of Limmud for Shemini. Hope you like it.

https://mailchi.mp/78eea780d5c5/limmud-on-one-leg-shemini-5780?e=7ab33854ca

On Lock-Down

Because of the Coronavirus I along with lots of the UK am on lock-down the situation is very serious as its already killed a lot of people here in the UK and many many more worldwide. So because of my now many underlying health conditions I'm self-isolating in my flat so basically just me and Panda although I see quite a bit of Emily and Renee we are taking care not to come into contact with each other.
The world already feels like a very different place, both here and all over indeed I am told that the enviromental impact can already be felt as can a return to nature in that animals are returning to places they haven't been for a long time.  It's sobering to realise quite how speedily the planet would be reclaimed if we disappeared.
Emily is very stressed because of the people who are dying at EHDRS as well as all the pastoral care she is having to do. Indeed her colleague has died which is destressing for everyone.

One effect of the whole CV thing is it has prompted me to really make an effort to speak with Rebecca so we have had a couple of really long conversations. I've also been in contact with Helen and Rosie. All four of us are going to try and have a Zoom together.  Additionally I've been phone mum every day. We study that day's section of the Torah reading this gives a nice structure and its also good because mum's in isolation as well. 

I've also had a lovely long chat with Anika, and with Sarah. So it's really been a time of re-connection with friends and family and all it took was a pandemic.  But it's brought things into focus and shown me what's important.

My regular weekly Talmud study and chat with Tina continues which is also a bright spot in my day. So thanks to elecetronic media I am being fairly sociable and I am not to destressed although I am a little.

On a different note Matt interviewed me for a project he's doing on the Golden Rule. And I've written a Taste of Limmud (to be published soon).

And that I think brings you mostly up to date.

A week of anniversiers

First of all an apology this post is comming from my IPad and as such the spelling might be even more idiosyncratic than normal, my laptop died and is currently in Stoke with Rebecca seeing if it can be repaired. But between my phone and this I am managing okay.

Again not much has changed since my last posting. I've completed the training at AgeUK and have started making home visits, which I am enjoying a great deal.  I'm still hanging out with Panda (altnuecat). And studying Talmud with Tina and Francesca.  Today marks 5 years since my first big seizure and now as always when a mile stone like this roles by the more I become aware that at the time, and indeed for ages there after I had not realised how utterly life changing it was going to be, and that I now a accept that I'm going to have to reassures and recalculate what I'll be able to do more or less on a permit ate bases. I can still basically manage one thing a day, yesterday I did a visit with the elderly gent I'm visiting though AgeUK it was a pretty long visit and I enjoyed it and I'm pretty sure that he did too but I was utterly wiped out by the time I got back indeed I only just made it back to the flat in time (the only reason I remember this is because of the detailed notes I made at the time).

Tomorrow is also an anniversary, an anniversary in that case of getting Olive. Unlike the above this is a very positive anniversary. She has made a big and positive impact on my life and I think on Emily's as well.

I have also been continuing with Daf Yomi which has been a mixed bag but over all very positive. Today's daf has been was practically interesting (Arachin 16).

And of course the big Anniversiry is on Friday. 4 years since ordination, which means it's nine years since going to Jerusalem and starting this whole journey (3312) days. Wow just
wow.

A General UP.

Basically there is nothing new under the sun as they say. My heath problems continue without getting better and without worse. I'm still in my 'newish' flat and still seeing lots of both Emily and Renee. And I'm still basically unable to work.

That said I'm doing some voluntary work. Both with JAMI and with AgeUK so that's something but again right on the limit of what I can do and even that is not that much really.

I taught a mini-course on Talmud which was fun and might lead to doing an On-going on. Again on a voluntary bases. If I do do one I think I think we'll Tractate Ta'anit its short and pretty interesting.

Again on Talmud I'm continuing to do Daf Yomi of which rather remarkably the end is in sight. January 2020. And once a week I study talmud (separately with two people) Tina and Francesca. Wow is this post heavy on Talmud which I guess reflects my priorities in life.

I had my week long stay in the national Epilepsy Centre which was interesting but the results don't seem to have come back as decisive as I had hoped but we shall see where it leads, if anywhere.

I'm not sure if I have already mentioned this in this blog but I have a new cat Altneucat (a new old cat). He's a rescue and pretty beat up but very affectionate. When I'm in the flat he hardly leaves my side. He's, rather unimaginatively named Panda. He's black and white. And that I think is all that's happened since my last post. 

Emily's wedding

Its time for another posting.  I do seem to have re-started up dating on this blog.  Between this post and the last one. The High Holy Days have come and gone and so has Emily's wedding. High Holy Days first, this were OK/Good I enjoyed being a congregant at FPS and am now used to the Liberal HHD liturgy so all in all not bad.

I made a brief visit home. And will probably be going again this coming weekend. But the big thing that has happened between this blog entry and its predecessor is Emily and Renee's Wedding which was a lovely day. I conducted it, it was the first wedding I've ever done, I had a co-celebrant which was good because I was very very nervous maybe even more nervous than the brides themselves.

Emily brought me a new suit for the day so I looked very dapper even if I do say so my self.
They put so much thought into the day, which really showed in how unbelievably wonderful the whole day was, the booklets were stunning and the Harry Potter theme worked really really well. (I've kept both the booklet and my wand as a momento of the day.)


 I'm still doing (or more accurately trying to) teach some classes at FPS it was only meant to be three classes but even so health wise I've had to re-schedule a couple of times if I'm just not well enough on the day. Again still talmuding with both Tina and Francesca and that I think brings us up to date.