On Lock-Down

Because of the Coronavirus I along with lots of the UK am on lock-down the situation is very serious as its already killed a lot of people here in the UK and many many more worldwide. So because of my now many underlying health conditions I'm self-isolating in my flat so basically just me and Panda although I see quite a bit of Emily and Renee we are taking care not to come into contact with each other.
The world already feels like a very different place, both here and all over indeed I am told that the enviromental impact can already be felt as can a return to nature in that animals are returning to places they haven't been for a long time.  It's sobering to realise quite how speedily the planet would be reclaimed if we disappeared.
Emily is very stressed because of the people who are dying at EHDRS as well as all the pastoral care she is having to do. Indeed her colleague has died which is destressing for everyone.

One effect of the whole CV thing is it has prompted me to really make an effort to speak with Rebecca so we have had a couple of really long conversations. I've also been in contact with Helen and Rosie. All four of us are going to try and have a Zoom together.  Additionally I've been phone mum every day. We study that day's section of the Torah reading this gives a nice structure and its also good because mum's in isolation as well. 

I've also had a lovely long chat with Anika, and with Sarah. So it's really been a time of re-connection with friends and family and all it took was a pandemic.  But it's brought things into focus and shown me what's important.

My regular weekly Talmud study and chat with Tina continues which is also a bright spot in my day. So thanks to elecetronic media I am being fairly sociable and I am not to destressed although I am a little.

On a different note Matt interviewed me for a project he's doing on the Golden Rule. And I've written a Taste of Limmud (to be published soon).

And that I think brings you mostly up to date.

A week of anniversiers

First of all an apology this post is comming from my IPad and as such the spelling might be even more idiosyncratic than normal, my laptop died and is currently in Stoke with Rebecca seeing if it can be repaired. But between my phone and this I am managing okay.

Again not much has changed since my last posting. I've completed the training at AgeUK and have started making home visits, which I am enjoying a great deal.  I'm still hanging out with Panda (altnuecat). And studying Talmud with Tina and Francesca.  Today marks 5 years since my first big seizure and now as always when a mile stone like this roles by the more I become aware that at the time, and indeed for ages there after I had not realised how utterly life changing it was going to be, and that I now a accept that I'm going to have to reassures and recalculate what I'll be able to do more or less on a permit ate bases. I can still basically manage one thing a day, yesterday I did a visit with the elderly gent I'm visiting though AgeUK it was a pretty long visit and I enjoyed it and I'm pretty sure that he did too but I was utterly wiped out by the time I got back indeed I only just made it back to the flat in time (the only reason I remember this is because of the detailed notes I made at the time).

Tomorrow is also an anniversary, an anniversary in that case of getting Olive. Unlike the above this is a very positive anniversary. She has made a big and positive impact on my life and I think on Emily's as well.

I have also been continuing with Daf Yomi which has been a mixed bag but over all very positive. Today's daf has been was practically interesting (Arachin 16).

And of course the big Anniversiry is on Friday. 4 years since ordination, which means it's nine years since going to Jerusalem and starting this whole journey (3312) days. Wow just
wow.

A General UP.

Basically there is nothing new under the sun as they say. My heath problems continue without getting better and without worse. I'm still in my 'newish' flat and still seeing lots of both Emily and Renee. And I'm still basically unable to work.

That said I'm doing some voluntary work. Both with JAMI and with AgeUK so that's something but again right on the limit of what I can do and even that is not that much really.

I taught a mini-course on Talmud which was fun and might lead to doing an On-going on. Again on a voluntary bases. If I do do one I think I think we'll Tractate Ta'anit its short and pretty interesting.

Again on Talmud I'm continuing to do Daf Yomi of which rather remarkably the end is in sight. January 2020. And once a week I study talmud (separately with two people) Tina and Francesca. Wow is this post heavy on Talmud which I guess reflects my priorities in life.

I had my week long stay in the national Epilepsy Centre which was interesting but the results don't seem to have come back as decisive as I had hoped but we shall see where it leads, if anywhere.

I'm not sure if I have already mentioned this in this blog but I have a new cat Altneucat (a new old cat). He's a rescue and pretty beat up but very affectionate. When I'm in the flat he hardly leaves my side. He's, rather unimaginatively named Panda. He's black and white. And that I think is all that's happened since my last post. 

Emily's wedding

Its time for another posting.  I do seem to have re-started up dating on this blog.  Between this post and the last one. The High Holy Days have come and gone and so has Emily's wedding. High Holy Days first, this were OK/Good I enjoyed being a congregant at FPS and am now used to the Liberal HHD liturgy so all in all not bad.

I made a brief visit home. And will probably be going again this coming weekend. But the big thing that has happened between this blog entry and its predecessor is Emily and Renee's Wedding which was a lovely day. I conducted it, it was the first wedding I've ever done, I had a co-celebrant which was good because I was very very nervous maybe even more nervous than the brides themselves.

Emily brought me a new suit for the day so I looked very dapper even if I do say so my self.
They put so much thought into the day, which really showed in how unbelievably wonderful the whole day was, the booklets were stunning and the Harry Potter theme worked really really well. (I've kept both the booklet and my wand as a momento of the day.)


 I'm still doing (or more accurately trying to) teach some classes at FPS it was only meant to be three classes but even so health wise I've had to re-schedule a couple of times if I'm just not well enough on the day. Again still talmuding with both Tina and Francesca and that I think brings us up to date.

Another near death experience.

Earlier in this blog I wrote about a near death experience from when I was very sick.

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This happened at about the same time. Again I woke at night and although I was still in the ward, I had a visitor. An old friend, who died a long time ago. She was sitting by my bedside legs tucked underneath herself and reading in a pool of light cast by my bedside lamp. 

It was odd to find a visiter at night (basically unheard of) but as I could tell at once that it was the kind of waking I wasn't going to fall back asleep from a visitor was welcome.

We made polite and friendly conversation for a while. Before she asked 'Adam you do remember I'm dead right?'

To which I replied. 'Yes, [Name] I remember I came to your funeral.  But it seem rude to comment on it and unnecessary. Unless you didn't know in which case I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news'.

Understandably she burst out laughing and said. 'Oh Adam that's the most 'Adam-ish' think you've ever said. You're also taking this very calmly.'

To which I replied, 'Well I'm a little concerned that you've come to escort me to 'the other side, but you'd be a surprising choice. But I think you're probably a manifestation of my unconscious, probably my id. So I am in effect talking to myself'. 

She stopped laughing and said. 'Your id, wow that's rude'. 

After a pause I asked have I caught glimpses of you on earlier occasions? Although nothing as tangible as this?

She responded, 'I have paid the occasional visit, but I can't say if you saw me or not'.

After that she said that I should go back to sleep because I needed my rest. And in the morning when I woke up she'd gone.

As I said when I wrote about my other near-death experience. My memories from this time are very patchy to say the least. Tiny fragments here and there, and I also know from reports that I was hallucinating at this time as well. Interestingly enough I have memories of those hallucinations but try not to 'visit' them to often because they're unpleasant and I don't want to reinforce them.

This experience feels different.

New Flat

As the title suggests I'm in a new flat.  But it has to be the smallest move in history. About 4 feet door to door. I still live at the same address but have moved from flat 3 to flat 2. Like I say one of the smallest moves in history.  But it does bring to close my and Emily being flatmates (albeit that we are now neighbours. Well Two thousand nine hundred and eighty four days (2984) isn't a bad innings (and at least I can stop counting now).  For those who count in 'old money' that's eight years and two months. So not bad at all.

I have just returned from a period back home in Stoke, mum fell and injured her arm while she was down here visiting me so I went back to stoke to help look after her for a bit. But I'm now back.  My High Holy Days tickets have come and once again (for health reasons) I'm just a congruent but in many many ways that's really pleasant.

So apart from that not much is new. Well I guess a new flat is new.

A general update (Friends and Family)

I hope this post will be lighter on medical details than the more recent ones. Basically nothing has changed I'm no better but no worse either. The medical appointments continue and different specialists get added.

I'm still basically not working or rather not working at all. But trying to stay positive and succeeding (some of the time).

Olive (our cat) is a joy albeit sometimes an irritating one, when she wants food or attention but she makes my life so much better.

My thoughts are turning to the HHDs, but as I'm not working I don't have anywhere where I'm leading so will need to sort out some place to go to attend synagogue.

Back in June I had a very pleasant summer holiday with mum in Dunwhich and got to spend a little time with my big sister Rosie which was great because I don't get to see that much of her.

I'm paying more visits back home or at least trying to.

And this weekend just got I got to spend some time with Laura and her husband Stefan when they were visiting London, its wonderful to see Laura and great to meet Stefan who is lovely, witty and charming.

So this is an up-beat post, which makes a change from how this blog has been for the last four years. I'm still struggling health wise but if not getting better I'm not getting any worse. And am coming to accept the new situation.

I'm also continuing to study Talmud both Daf Yomi (and the regular (daily) study is certainly improving my skills) and with my two chevurta: Tina and Francesca.

So all in all. Even if things are still difficult I'm feeling more emotionally okay than I have in a long while.